Don't Forget to Live

I never gave my parents any real trouble until I was in my 20s. Then I really made up for being such a perfect child. I am sure my parents had daily heart attacks for at least 3 years as I had an early midlife crisis (hey, I always do everything ahead of schedule).

For the first time in my life, I was lost. I was almost done with a degree in an area I no longer wanted to follow. I found my classes boring, the assignments were not challenging, my brain was not being exercised. I stopped attending classes. I existed, but I wasn't living. I pushed friends away, I slept all the time. I became a shell of the person I really was. I had never had such confusion before, I had always had a plan, a schedule, an idea. Now I knew nothing.

As the saying goes, you have to hit rock bottom before you can climb to the top. I hit rock bottom, in a non Charlie Sheen way. Perhaps, the Charlie way would have been more fun, but I have never seen the point in substance abuse, needles are not my favorite thing, and I like my skin and nose exactly as they are (I have a little bump in my nose, my mom has it too. It's really not even that noticeable. A lady once argued with me that I must have broken it once. No, sorry to disappoint you, nose guru).

The climb back up, took a little longer than the fall, due to a slight diversion called a horrible break up that left me shell shocked. However, the diversion ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me. I learned that year who I was again, who I wanted to be, how strong I was, who my real friends were. Just like Jay Z, I was back, but I was back stronger and more full of life than I ever had been.

I learned not to stress over the things you can't control, I learned to deal with issues one step at a time, I learned I can't control everything, I learned I didn't want to, I learned not knowing the answer is ok.

I learned that sometimes you can be so busy planning life, that you forget to live life.

I resolve to stop planning all my tomorrows and just enjoy my todays. Tomorrow will always be there, tomorrow.