"Yes, and now I am going to go tell your mother her baby is ok." Those were the words spoken to me post c-section when I asked my OBGYN if my baby was ok. You see Dr. Hill knew my mother longer than me. She was the only gynecologist I had known since 16. She watched me become a young adult and then delivered my child, making me a mom.
I was 25. I was 25 and had a baby. It took her words for me to realize, my mom had a baby too. I was that baby. Of course, I knew my mom had a baby, she had two actually. Until those words were spoken to me, it never occurred to me, she had gone through this entire process too.
You see back then, there was no reveal party with cake to cut revealing a dyed inside, blue balloons didn't fly, no cute staged picture was taken. My mom and I didn't sit around discussing my feelings and emotions during pregnancy, nor did we discuss hers. I was 25 with no idea what I wanted to do with my life and could barely afford my bills.
It wasn't how I thought I would become a mom. I didn't actually plan on becoming a mom. I figured I would look up from my desk one day at 40 and realize I forgot to have kids. Some days that was because I forgot to find a potential child's father too. I am currently writing this blog at 39, with a husband and a 13 year old son. I work for a Fortune 300 company. The dog just licked my leg, apparently he can read and knows he wasn't mentioned.
To say the last 13 years of my life have been easy would be the biggest lie ever told... or at least it would be up there with Judas' denial. The last 13 years of my life have been relaxing, strenuous, full of both joy and sorrow, mistakes, denial, questions. Full body shaking laughter, and full body shake crying, the kind where you stop breathing and may throw up, filled in the gaps. The real deal teeter totters between a Lifetime movie and the next King novel.
The last 13 years of my life, have reiterated one simple fact. My mom is an angel on Earth. She is the strongest, bravest, most fearless woman I know. My mom has a work ethic matched by no one. My mom has the strength of an elephant and the ferocious protection of a lion. Don't let her holiday themed sweaters, hair bun, and perfect skin fool you. She's pretty tough.
My mom was a divorced single mother of 2 under 4, one in diapers, and a full time nursing career. On 2nd shift. In ICU. She was on her feet all shift, came home to sleeping children she was working hard to raise, but not seeing often, at least not awake. Then an entire other job started at midnight or so when she packed lunches, and did laundry, and often cooked dinner for the babysitter so she only had to warm it up the next day. This was life until I was in 8th grade and she moved to Same Day Surgery, with better hours, hours she wishes she had when we were younger.
Of course there is more to the story, but that isn't my story to tell.
I never realized what those years were probably like for my mom until I became a mom. In an exhausted state of doing laundry in the middle of the night with a few week old baby and two grade school aged step-children, it occurred to me how very tired my mom must have been, every day, for a decade.
As a child, I never saw her break. She was a strong pillar of strength and perfection. I asked her once how she did it, she just shrugged and said you just do, no other choice. She probably doesn't recall this conversation, but every day since then, I have just done it, maybe not always the best way, but the best way I knew at the time.
My mom raised two children always putting us first. Always. To be honest, she may have had the same underwear for a long time while we ran around in KSwiss, Tretorn and Jordans. She put us both through 12 years of Catholic school and then paid for our Bachelor's degrees at expensive Liberal Arts Ohio colleges.
Today she called me to tell me her mother's day gift was too generous. I would have laughed and said "really, mom?", but my toe had just slammed into one of the kid's Jordans on my way to answer call.
If I end up being half the mother my mom has been, my kid will be very lucky. I am a product of my mom's perseverance and strength.
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