The funny thing about kids is you spend the first 18 months waiting for them to talk and walk. Then they do...
Mom, I can't believe I was fired. I was the most senior person on Sector 23. They fired me for no reason, no reason, can you believe it? They are gonna need me for Sector 24 because it's very dangerous. Mom, you'll need to market me to new prospects.
When someone asks what ridiculous means I just show them a picture of YOU!
I am old enough to ride my bike around the block by myself. I know you don't want to admit it, but really I am almost 8 years old, and well...*shakes head*, you are just going to have to deal with it.
I wish I had those kids' parents because they don't have to wear helmets when they ride their bikes. You are so unfair. Like the meanest mom EVER.
(*I cleaned Dirty Mondays for you, here is my bill.*) I am not paying, I didn't ask you to clean and I closed Dirty Mondays down.
You are so ignorant. (*Can you tell me what that means?*). Yes, you can't learn, which is true because you just had to ask.
I love you more in your face, HA! 1 to 0.
On a scale up to 200 for being nice to me, you have a 166. Arlo (*the dog*) is beating you. You should change.
It's not that I am not hungry. It's just that the meatball tunnel in my stomach is full, but the Cheetos tunnel is empty.
(*Gabriel, you need to pick up dog poop in the back yard*) Why do I have to do everything around here? I mean, what exactly do you do?
I am going to go to 'Ale for college, mom. (*Do you mean Yale?*). Whatever, it's in Connecticut.
Dad's rule is that even if it's inappropriate, we are still going to watch it.
You can say don't tell mom, but she will just find out anyway.
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